Monday July 8, 2013

Today morning I probably experienced a kind of a lucid dream (or in fact the very such one) - therefore I find it an interesting experience and would like to describe till I still remember it.

What I remember?

In the dream I was taking a physics classes with a teacher who’ve been teaching me during the high school. He was in the middle of explaining some topic - then he switched to the practice (“How it could be calculated?” - so formulas, formulas...), which I quickly and easily associated with my very recent experience of listening to quantum physics lectures on YouTube. The reason I reached for those lectures was that I am interested in this particular area - on the other hand, however, I remain a humanist, not a “strict-minded”, therefore I hadn’t been able to comprehend part of those formulas, which made the whole thing boring and pointless. When a similar theme has arisen within my dream, the association was therefore fresh. I suppose that it was the reason why I could been able to become aware that I’m dreaming - or something like that.

Why I consider this dream a lucid one?

Once I associated the theme of moving to the practice part, both during physics classes and the quantum mechanics lecture, I’ve decided to confess to my teacher some truth: I was going to admit that, although I did understand the theoretical part of subjects, I hadn’t been able to comprehend the practical part at all (constructing and re-shaping formulas). It was like: “Oh, if I am here, meeting my high school teacher, I’m gonna tell him the truth.”

This very fact that such idea has crossed my mind, makes me to suspect that I could indeed experience a lucid dream - because the reason why I’ve decided to “enlighten” my teacher has been that I knew that this is not real physics classes - therefore I’ve felt pretty relaxed and had the courage to talk with the teacher, and to do it so honestly (otherwise, i.e., if I could feel like a real student from that times - I couldn’t dare such a direct and honest confession that I had understand none of those things, not so much regarding any particular lesson - as any of them ;) , let alone shared in a relaxed manner). I considered this as an act of disinterested positive honesty - something like “let’s be honest after all those years ;)” or “let’s share the true way of things - from the current, ‘years-after’ perspective” (although for the man in the dream there was no years-passed involved :) ).

The only doubt I could have about whether this experience was indeed a lucid dream or not - is that my behavior within the dream does not clearly point out that I’ve become aware of a dreamy nature of the classes. On the one hand it was aware - to a degree when I know that this is not real classes, therefore I act on the spur of the moment, taking a moment of truth with my teacher from the past, from the perspective of my current self - who had finished school long ago, therefore there is no stress or shyness involved. On the other hand it seems that I hadn’t cared that the teacher also wasn’t real - due to it was a dream. As a result my “moment of truth” can be perceived either as a genuine small humanitarian and ethical ( ;) ) act - or as a result of a state which had been lucid only to a degree. I don’t know what is the truth - nevertheless it drew my attention so much so it has moved me and inspired to reflection.

What else is interesting in this story is the teacher’s reaction to my confession ;) . He seemed not to acknowledge that I really don’t have a so-called strict mind - initially he didn’t tell why he stays that way but, sensing his lack of acceptance for my self-esteem (knowledge about myself) I’ve pushed him to tell what does he really think. As a result he suggested (with frustrating self-confidence) that he thinks this is not a matter of a strict mind, but the amount of time I’ve invested in learning (i.e., too little) - for the sake of other pleasures (such as TV). I don’t know from where he draws such an untrue argument - nevertheless, by presenting it without paying any attention to what I say has frustrated me (the feeling when someone intentionally ignores Your points, especially such competent ones as self-knowledge). In this regard I associated him with another person, to be more precise: with their particular aspect - therefore I’m not sure whether the person from the dream was really my teacher, or maybe someone else in his skin (as it probably happened many times in my dreams). The answer is not clear because the teacher himself also could be able for such intensional ignorance. One way or the other, it’s a curiosity rather - it means less to me than what I’m interested most in the whole experience (i.e., its lucid aspect) - becoming aware that I’m dreaming and taking advantage of this knowledge.

At the end of the day I think that I could consider this dream a lucid one. It’s interesting also due to that I hadn’t had a clear intention to experience such one - I hadn’t taken any steps in this respect. As I mentioned earlier, this fresh and quick association, therefore a completely spontaneous one - kind of “brings me out of a dream, within a dream”.

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